He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
