Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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