i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
