She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
