i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
