you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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