sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
