What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
