Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
