Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
