I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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