Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
