he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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