would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
