I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
