Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
