Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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