I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
