Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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