apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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