went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
