I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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