This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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