He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
