My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
