What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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