Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
