the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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