stop calling my apartment porn island.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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