I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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