i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
