Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
