This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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