I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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