i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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