i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
pop tarts are not kleenex
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't want my vagina anymore.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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