you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize