Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
