Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
