I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
