your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It's official drugs can't kill me
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
