Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
