me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
