well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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