Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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