the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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