dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
