im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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