im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
