this just has baby written all over it
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
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