Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
