Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
