she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
A bitchslap is in order.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
