...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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