He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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