My hand turned me down
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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