girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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