You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
