$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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