That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
