THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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