THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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