ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
