Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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