I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
People in love make me want to vomit
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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