I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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